Assalamu alaykom everyone! Today is the 15th day of
Ramadhan. Ma shaa Allah time flies so fast! It was like yesterday when we had our first suhoor and iftar... Alhamdulillah every thing is doing well. :)
I remember I was just 5 or 6 years old when I started fasting, we were living in Manila then. My mom swore she never taught nor forced me to fast at my tender age. I was the one who voluntarily wakes up every morning to fast without being asked to. And If i don't get to wake up to eat during suhoor, according to my Mom, I would cry. Yes, I could still remember those days when my beloved granny would put milo on my glass and I would gladly drink it believing that Iftar had come, but when I realized that none of them had eaten with me, I would cry out loud and blame myself for being stupid. Naaaah those were the days when you were young and afraid about the stories they told you about the end of the world. They were all true I knew but I think It was just so scary to think about it when you were so little.
Yesterday night (Thursday) my hubby and I, together with my in-laws, went to attend an Islamic seminar at the town plaza right after the taraweeh prayer. Alhmdulillah were we the first people to arrive... (how nice it is to think that you get rewarded every time you accomplish something for your deen.) The speaker was about to start when I noticed that very few were there and most of which were younger ones, aged 15 and below. It maybe sad but it's true, very few Meranao Muslims were interested to be part of such mind-awakening activities. I remember when the celebration of 119th Araw ng Malabang, month of May, a basketball competition was held at the same venue, it was so full-packed you could hardly breathe, the seats were all occupied and everybody was shouting so hard I thought my ears would explode. Everyone was having fun, everyone was so eager to be part of such celebration, and I was there too, taking my part as a citizen of Malabang. I had fun too, I wouldn't deny that. But I never learned a single thing concerning my religion. And tonight when it was our chance to please Allah subhanallah wa ta'ala, when it was our time to listen to His words and the teachings of nabi Muhammad sallalahu alayhi wa sallam, we're aren't interested as we should be! Very few were there to lend their ears and heart!!! Astagfirullah, what an injustice!!! Ramadhan which comes only once a year, a chance to ask for mercy, forgiveness and freedom from hellfire are being taken for granted!
I remember our Imam that night who cried during our taraweeh pray. It broke my heart and made me cry. What was on my mind was that how could a man who is 100x more knowledgeable about Islam than me cry like that? My tears were unstoppable as I realized how small and weak my 'amal' is as a Muslim. I am nothing compared to that man yet he was so afraid of the day death will come and take him. And me? What kind of preparation have I prepared for that day?! When I will meet my Creator, Allah, the most gracious, the most merciful? I am too shy to tell my answer. Astagfirullah!!! But In sha Allah this Ramadhan will serve as my starting point to becoming a better Muslimah I should have been long before! (Allahumma Ameen)
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